Holy shit, who gives a fuck????

Holy shit, who gives a fuck????

The thing that sucks about the structure of time is that at any point in your existence you’re the oldest you’ve ever been. !

Whoever unfollowed me today, I know who you are and I know your reading this…………..

*A crowd of #Millenials roars before a lone individual with a megaphone. There is a squeal of feedback as it comes to life and their demands are heard.* WE ARE A GENERATION WHOSE RELATIONSHIPS WERE HEAVILY INFLUENCED BY THE MOVIE ‘HIGH FIDELITY’. PLEASE CUT US A LITTLE SLACK.

The Ancient Egyptians were cool and all, but if you really stop to think about it who cares? A Triangular pile of rocks? They couldn’t build some shit like Disneyland or whatever. The Indiana Jones ride is a way better engineering accomplishment than the pyramids. They won’t teach you that in middle school, though.

My last entry was the funniest thing I’ve ever written, and either nobody saw it or nobody agrees but I don’t even care. I laugh every time I read it.

Coming Spring 2015

Look At My Boner Through These Shorts: A High School Memoir

Coming This Fall

Photos of My Cool Friends Pooping: A Coffee Table Book

All Jedi including Yoda were virgins.